When Almost Married Turns Into “Almost”
Eight months ago, the man I deeply loved — the man everyone expected me to marry — didn’t propose.
No big fight. No betrayal. Just a soft, devastating silence where a question should have been. We had spent many years planning everything—except the part where he’d actually ask. It was a slow fade. One day we were “almost there,” the next, I was crying on the floor of my apartment living room. It was over.
The Silence That Said Everything
I’ve clapped at engagement parties with numb hands.
I’ve smiled through weddings I once thought would be mine. I’ve quietly un-followed ring accounts and re-followed them again in moments of weakness. And I’ve scrolled past wedding dress selfies pretending my chest didn’t tighten every single time.
If you’ve ever been the girl who almost got the ring — or worse, thought she had it emotionally — you know this ache. And if you don’t? I hope you never do.
Why I’m Writing About Weddings Anyway
When Living Africana asked me to be a guest writer on the relationship section of their website, I said no.
After all, what does a single woman know about relationships? What value am I going to add? The they asked me, about being a guest writer on their wedding section of the website. And ironically, that felt more comfortable. Yet, what do I know about weddings?
But maybe that’s exactly the point?
And yet… here I am. Still romantic. Still hopeful. Still writing love letters I may never send.
When Living Africana asked me to share my thoughts on weddings, I hesitated. I didn’t want to sound bitter, or worse—pitiful. But the truth is, this column isn’t about one lost proposal. It’s about the many ways we love. How we begin again. How we heal out loud. And in the end how I will end up with a proposal and a wedding, standing by the love of my life till death does us part.
So no, I’m not married. Not engaged. Not even taken, if you must know.
But I still believe in love.
And maybe, just maybe, writing is how I find my way back to it.
Let’s see where this goes.
— Lami
